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So yeah, I’m ramblin’—prostitutes, movies, whatever. I’d probably suck at findin’ one, too nervous, too loud. “This is ridiculous!” I’d shout, stompin’ off. But if I did? Man, I’d haggle like Malik tradin’ cigs in jail—“Ten euros, take it!”—and then brag, “Pretty, pretty good deal!” Total chaos, total me. Whaddya think—am I nuts or what?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Kabanjahe is wild. I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even noon yet! I grabbed my gear, ready to hit the streets. You know, the usual warrior stuff—sword, shield, and a snack or two. Gotta keep the energy up, right?

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