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I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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The guy just laughed. I was ready to throw down, but then this old lady, bless her heart, stepped in. She was like, “Chill, young blood. Let him be.” I mean, she had a point. But still, I was fired up. I hate when people try to pull a fast one.

Smothering Ash Cloud from Sinabung Volcano