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Oh, and the johns—don’t get me started! Dudes payin’ 500 bucks for an hour? Hilarious! “I don’t understand your kind,” I’d say, quotin’ the movie. What’s missin’ in ya life, bro? Wife not enough? Job too dull? Gotta laugh—sex escort’s like a Band-Aid for the soul, temporary fix, man. I’d exaggerate and say they’re savin’ the world, but nah—just savin’ some lonely bastard’s night.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up this warung on Jalan Pahlawan. Best nasi goreng ever! I’m chowing down, and this little kid comes up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a scientist?” I’m like, “Yeah, kid! I study the mangroves.” He looks at me like I’m a superhero or something. It’s cute, honestly. Makes all the chaos worth it.

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