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But the surprises? Chile, the NERVE of some! This one dude I heard ‘bout—he sex-datin’ 5 gals at ONCE! I said, “Boy, you busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest!” And don’t get me started on them freaky fetishes poppin’ up—feet pics for cash? Halleluyer, I can’t! “We’re just trying to find the facts,” like *Spotlight* says, but some facts I don’t WANNA know!

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And just like that, I’m back in the game. I jump up, and the crowd goes wild again. It’s like they’re rooting for me. I finish the fight strong, and man, the rush is unreal. I’m on cloud nine!

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