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But ugh, the fakes online? Piss me off! Catfishin’ with blurry pics – “Is that a chick or a foot?” Surprised me once, got a dude in heels – I screeched like Royal yellin’, “Where’s my damn encyclopedia?!” Total chaos, dahling, but I laughed ‘til I cried. Pro tip: check reviews, X posts, don’t get scammed by some poser. I’m thinkin’, *This is not an adventure*, like Chas whinin’ – it’s a transaction, keep it tight!

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But then, I get cocky. I try this fancy move, and guess what? I totally mess it up. I trip over my own feet and fall flat on my face. The crowd goes silent. I can feel my face burning. I just wanna disappear. But then, I hear someone shout, “Get up, bestiary!”

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