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About Bandung

But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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First stop, Jalan Raya Gambiran. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this street vendor selling the most insane fried tofu. I mean, I love tofu, but this stuff was next level. I’m talking crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and dripping with this spicy sauce. I’m like, “Yesss, give me all of it!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me, and my tofu goes flying. I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my breakfast splat on the pavement. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, dude, watch where you’re going!

Moderate mag. 4.3 earthquake - Bali Region, Indonesia, on Monday, Mar 1, 2021, at 08:46 pm (Jakarta time)