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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m Bane, the friggin’ Barber, and I’m here to spill on sexual-massage, yeah? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, tension meltin’ like butter, and me—grinnin’ like a mad bastard ‘cause I’m thinkin’ of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick, man, it’s raw—sweaty, messy, real. “I missed you so much… I could die,” Adèle says, and that’s the vibe I’m chasin’ with a good rubdown. Sexual-massage ain’t just a quick grope—it’s art, fam!

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First stop? The local café, you know, the one on Jl. Diponegoro. I needed my caffeine fix. I ordered a cappuccino, but they gave me a latte. Like, c’mon, people! I’m not a latte kinda gal. I was about to flip, but then I saw this cute dog outside. A golden retriever, just chillin’. Instant mood booster!