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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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Finally made it to the lab, and guess what? My experiment from yesterday went totally haywire. I was working on this enzyme reaction, and it blew up in my face—literally! I had this green goo all over me. I looked like a walking science project. My lab mates were cracking up, but I was fuming. Like, how does that even happen? I’m a biochemist, not a clown!

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