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About Bandung

So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

A night with her

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Finally, I get to this café, right? It’s called “Kopi Dampit.” Super hipster vibes. I walk in, and it’s all plants and weird art. I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s see what the fuss is about.” I order their special latte. It’s like drinking a cloud. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter! I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” But he just shrugs and says, “It’s all good, man.” I mean, what?

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