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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m slingin’ change at this crummy cashier gig, right, and I gotta spill about *escort*—not the car, nah, the spicy stuff! Like, escorts, man, they’re out there, livin’ wild, and I’m just countin’ nickels, thinkin’—whoa, nelly! Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*, ya know, my fave flick—spies, secrets, sneaky vibes. “We are not machines!”—that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head when I see these escort stories. They’re hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, and I’m like—respect, yo!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up. He’s like, “Can you play ‘Wonderwall’?” I’m like, “Bro, I’m a guitar master, not a juke box!” But I played it anyway. The kid was stoked. I mean, who doesn’t love a good ‘Wonderwall’ moment, right?

Tailgate at the Comal Street Block Party on Sunday - University of Texas Athletics