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So, escorts—shoot, they’re like them gleaners, ain’t they? Makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’, turnin’ a dull night into a sparkly one. I reckon they’re part hustler, part angel—dependin’ on who’s payin’, ha! Back in my day, I knew this gal—let’s call her Ruby—down in Nashville. She was an escort, quiet-like, didn’t brag none. Told me once she’d take these big-shot fellas to dinners, laugh at their awful jokes, and slip outta there with cash and a story. Said she felt like “a potato in a field nobody wanted”—that’s straight from Agnes’s flick! Ruby’d glean them lonely souls, give ‘em a shine for a night. Made me happy, thinkin’ she turned scraps into gold.

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Then I decide to hit up the market on Jl. H. Usman. You know, the one that’s always packed? I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my drink. And then, bam! I bump into this old lady. She’s got a basket full of veggies, and I’m like, “Oh man, I’m so sorry!” But she just looks at me, and I swear, her glare could melt steel. I’m like, “Chill, I didn’t mean to turn you into a salad!”

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