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Here’s a lil secret, tho—back in ’98, some dude invented speed-datin’. True story! Horny bastards sittin’ in rows, tryna hook up fast. Kinda like sex-dating now, but with worse haircuts. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ bout those dorks—prolly smelled like Old Spice and regret. Nowadays, it’s all digital, but same crap—guys actin’ thirsty, girls playin’ hard to get. I’m like, *“We have to go deeper!”*—find the real shit, not this fake-ass flirtin’.

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Next stop, the market. Oh man, Cileungsir’s market is a whole vibe. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fried snacks everywhere. I’m walking down Jl. Raya, dodging people like it’s a video game. I spot this mangga (mango) stall. I love mangga! So, I’m like, “Gimme the juiciest one!” The seller hands me a mango that’s basically a boulder. I’m like, “What am I supposed to do with this? Lift weights?”