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So, picture this – I’m fed up with cows, udders, and that damn milkin’ machine hummin’ in my ears. I’m like, “I need a break, somethin’ wild!” So I think, why not find a prostitute? Not that I’m some expert, dahling, but I’ve heard stories – oh, the stories! Like, did ya know back in the 1800s, some brothels had secret codes? Knock twice, wink once – bam, you’re in! Ain’t that a hoot? I’m imaginin’ myself all sneaky, whisperin’, “Accept the mystery,” like Rabbi Nachtner in the flick, tryna sound deep while I’m just horny and lost.

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First off, I’m outta coffee. Like, how does that even happen? I’m a tech writer, not a magician! So, I hit up this little warung on Jl. Cileungsir Indah. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total grump. I’m like, “Dude, it’s too early for that face.” He just rolls his eyes. Whatever, I grab my cup and head out.