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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!

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But then, something amazing happens. I overhear this group of locals talking about a festival happening later. They’re all hyped up, and I can’t help but smile. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? So, I finish my work (finally!) and decide to check it out.