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Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

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Next, I head over to the Ciamis Plaza. I needed to grab some lunch. I’m starving! I hit up that food court. You know, the one with the best nasi goreng? I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this street performer. He’s juggling and doing backflips. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even do that?” I’m impressed, but also a bit jealous. I can barely juggle my schedule!

BMKG's Weather Forecast for a Week in West Java: Heavy Rain to Occur in Early November