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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, aliens landin’ on Earth, tryna figure this shit out. Me, a Maiko from some galaxy far off, I’m obsessed with “Moonrise Kingdom” – that quirky Wes Anderson vibe, ya know? “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away” – that’s me talkin’ to a good rubdown. Sexual-massage ain’t just hands on skin, nah, it’s a freaky energy zap. Like, little known fact – ancient Egyptians were into it! Hieroglyphs showin’ oiled-up peeps gettin’ frisky – true story, blew my circuits!

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Next, I head over to the Ciamis Plaza. I needed to grab some lunch. I’m starving! I hit up that food court. You know, the one with the best nasi goreng? I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this street performer. He’s juggling and doing backflips. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even do that?” I’m impressed, but also a bit jealous. I can barely juggle my schedule!

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