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About South Tangerang

So, I tried it once—ONCE—cuz my buddy Duke bet me a steak I wouldn’t. Signed up on some app, Tinder or Grindr or whatever, don’t care. Profile pic? Me with an axe, shirt off, scowlin’. Bio said, “I chop wood, not feelings.” Got 12 matches in an hour—surprised the hell outta me. Thought, “Maybe this ain’t so bad.” Wrong. First chick messages, “Hey big guy, u dtf?” DTF? Down to forest? I’m thinkin’ she’s into trees—my kinda gal. Nope. Means “down to fuck.” Disgusting. I hate everything.

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After that, I head to Jl. Kebon. Gotta get my chainsaw fixed. Walk into this shop, and it’s packed. I’m standin’ there, waitin’ forever. Finally, this old guy comes out. He’s got a beard longer than my arm. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you could hide a squirrel in there.”

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