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So, I spot this one gal—foxy, legs for days, total minx! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “Shag me now or shag me later, baby!” Real smooth, Austin-style. Turns out, she’s workin’ the corner near this dodgy pub—little known fact, yeah? Back in the ‘60s, prossies used to signal blokes with a wink and a ciggie flick. Proper spy move, innit? Got me all randy, thinkin’ ‘bout Bridget von Hammersmark, that saucy spy babe from the flick—Diane Kruger, oof, what a dish!

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I’m munchin’ on this skewer, and this dude next to me starts talkin’. He’s like, “You a lumberjack? What’s that like?” I’m like, “Bro, it’s not all axes and beards.” But I tell him about the forest, the trees, the peace. He looks at me like I’m a unicorn or somethin’.

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