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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows shit. So, sexual-massage, eh? I’ve stumbled into some dodgy parlors in my day, let me tell ya. It’s like, half the time you’re thinkin’, “Is this bliss or a bloody trap?” Like in *No Country for Old Men*—that coin toss vibe, y’know? “Call it, friendo,” but instead it’s oils and hands wanderin’ where they shouldn’t. I drink and I know things, and lemme spill this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s a whole game of tension.

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So, I’m chugging my caffeine, and I’m like, “Let’s do this!” I had a live ad gig at Jam Gadang. You know, that giant clock tower? It’s like the heart of Bukittinggi. Everyone’s there, tourists snapping pics, locals just chillin’. I set up my stuff, and boom! My mic decides to go all diva on me. Like, seriously? Right before I’m about to go live?

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