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But—grrr—some creeps ruin it! Greasy parlors, shady vibes—makes me mad, yesss! I’d bite ‘em, crunch their teeth, ha! Good sexual-massage tho? Oh, it’s bliss, precious! Relaxes ya neck, jaw—dental dream! Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought, “This ain’t no cavity fix!” But oooh, it’s better—warm hands, slow moves, tension gone. “You’re not alone,” like Lancaster says in the flick—feels true when ya meltin’ under it.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. Almost knocks my plate outta my hands! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, kid!” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m left there, half-eaten tofu in hand, feelin’ like a grumpy old man.

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