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Humor? Oh, motherfucker, imagine this: you’re lyin’ there, buck naked, and the masseuse whispers, “Relax, big guy.” I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Samuel L. Jackson, I don’t relax!” But then—fuck!—you do. It’s like your soul gets a hard-on. Sarcasm aside, it’s dope—beats a regular massage by a mile. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Feels like you’re floatin’ in some Thai jungle, past lives fuckin’ with your head.

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JAYA Massage Refleksi, Boyolali, Jawa Tengah, Indonesia. likes. Doctor.

Finally, I get to the farm. It’s on Jl. Diponegoro, right? Beautiful spot, but today? Ugh. The sheep were all riled up. Like, they knew I was comin’ for them. I swear, they were givin’ me the side-eye. I’m like, “Chill, fam, it’s just a haircut!” But they weren’t havin’ it.

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