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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here to dish on *escort*. Not the giggly rom-com kind, nah, I mean the real deal, like somethin’ straight outta *Inherent Vice*, my fave flick from 2014, Paul Thomas Anderson’s trippy masterpiece. Picture this: escorts, man, they’re like Doc Sportello stumblin’ through a haze of weed and weirdos, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ who—literally! “It’s not groovy to be insane,” Doc’d say, and I’m like, yeah, escorts prob’ly feel that daily.

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First call comes in. Some dude’s lost on Jl. Veteran. I mean, c’mon, how do you get lost there? It’s a straight shot! I’m tryin’ to help him, but he’s all panicky. I’m like, “Chill, bro! Just follow the road!” But nah, he’s convinced he’s in Narnia or somethin’. Finally, I get him sorted. Phew!

KKN-BBM Farewell Event, UNAIR Students Hold Fun Walk