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Oh, and the typos – sory, fat fingers! *wiggles hands* Apps are dodgy too – fake pics everywhere! Saw a gal’s snap, turns up, she’s 80! *jaw drops, falls off chair* Nearly choked on me tea! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Like, in “The Pianist”, he’s dodgin’ bombs, I’m dodgin’ catfish! *crawls under table, pops up* “I cannot risk it!” – that’s me, deletin’ Tinder again! Still, gets me ticker racin’ – better than telly! What’s yer take, eh? *leans in, trips, lands on face* Oof, classic Bean!

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So, I’m trying to calm him down. “Look, Mr. Suharto, it’s not the end of the world.” But he’s like, “My house is underwater!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but you didn’t pay for that coverage!” It’s a tough gig, man. I’m sweating bullets, trying to keep my cool.

4 The Body Of The Victim Of The KKB Sadis Massaging On Jalan Trans Papua Barat Evacuated Officers Towards Bintuni Bay