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Sex-dating’s messy—profiles lie, pics are old, and some dude’s like, “I’m 6’2,” but shows up shorter than Plankton! Makes me wanna scream, “Who am I?!”—total *Memento* vibes! But the thrill? Oh, it’s like divin’ into the deep end of Goo Lagoon! You might score a hottie or just a funny story—either way, I’m gigglin’ like a goofball! Once heard this wild tale—guy met a gal on Tinder, turns out she was his cousin! Talk about a plot twist—Nolan woulda loved that!

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Then, I get another call. This lady’s yelling about her neighbor’s rooster. “It won’t stop crowing!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a rooster. That’s its job!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, I could hear the rooster in the background, just cluckin’ away like it owns the place.

Bitcoin-backed stablecoin developer Bima Labs raises $2.25 million seed round