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So, erotic-massage—lemme spill the tea. It’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s this whole vibe. Hands slidin’ everywhere, teasin’ spots you didn’t know you had. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, spies—yeah, like me—used it to loosen tongues. Not kiddin’! Some double agent’d get a steamy rubdown, next thing ya know, he’s blabbin’ state secrets. Shaken, not stirred, baby—gets the blood flowin’ *and* the intel.

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First stop? My fave coffee joint, Kopi Keren. I needed that caffeine fix, ya know? But guess what? They ran outta my usual order. Ugh! I was like, “What do you mean no more caramel macchiato?!” I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! So, I settled for a black coffee. Bitter like my mood.