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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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Finally, we get off, and I rush him to the car. I’m fumin’. “What were you thinkin’?” I snap. He’s like, “Chill, man! It was just a ride.” I’m like, “Yeah, and you almost got us in a brawl!”

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