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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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Then, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Jalan Merdeka. I walk in, and wow, the art is stunning! I see this painting that looks like a sunset over the rice fields. It’s so vibrant. I’m standing there, lost in thought, when the gallery owner comes up.

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