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About Bandung

Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s hands slippin’ where polite folk blush. Little fact—ancient Romans were mad for it. Called it “erotic kneading,” bloody pervs. Used scented oils, rose and shit, to get pulses racing. Me? I’d demand wildfire in the mix—burn away the weak. Had this one time, some smirking masseur thought he’d impress me. Pressed too hard—nearly snapped my spine! I was raging, “I’ll see you bow!” Tossed a goblet at his head—missed, sadly.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this cute little café on Jalan Pahlawan. I’m like, “Okay, I need coffee.” So I pop in, and the barista? Super chill. We start talkin’ about sheep. Yeah, sheep! Turns out, he’s got a cousin who raises goats. We bond over our love for fluffy animals. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, I spill my coffee all over the counter. Classic me. The barista just laughs it off. Thank goodness for good vibes.

Indonesia works to ban trade of meat from pets, exotic animals