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So, I’m scrolling Tinder, yeah? Bloke says he’s “adventurous”—code for shags in carparks. Birds say “no hookups,” then bam, knickers off by midnight. Everybody lies, told ya! Makes me wanna puke sometimes—dudes pretending they ain’t desperate. Had this one lass, “loves deep chats”—ghosted me after “wanna bang?” Surprised? Nah, just pissed. Hypocrisy’s thicker than my skull.

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First off, I’m settin’ up my station on Jl. Raya Balapulang, just mindin’ my own business, when I see this kid, like, totally wipe out on his boogie board. I mean, come on, dude! You gotta know how to ride those waves! I sprint over, heart racin’, and he’s floundering like a fish outta water. I dive in, grab him, and pull him back. He’s all “Thanks, bro!” and I’m like, “No prob, just don’t drown next time, okay?”