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About Semarang

Me, I’d be chuffed to bits gettin one—lights low, some Enya blastin, hands roamin where the sun don’t shine. Last week, mate, I googled it—accidentally booked a “sensual deep tissue,” turned up in me best tie, lookin like a plonker. Lass goes, “strip down,” and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “This ain’t no team-buildin seminar!” Felt like Plainview strikin oil—pure gold, mate, but I was shakin like a leaf.

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As the sun sets, the sky’s on fire. I’m takin’ pics, tryin’ to capture the moment. But my phone’s still cracked. Great. I’m thinkin’ about how life’s like that. One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re spillin’ food and breakin’ phones.

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