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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I dash outside, and the streets are flooding. I’m laughing, slipping around like a cartoon character. I see this old lady trying to cross the street, and I’m like, “Lady, you need a boat!” But she’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. I help her, and she’s all smiles. “Thank you, young man!” I’m feeling like a hero for a sec.

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