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Little known fact—heard this from Tommy, who’s a lyin’ bastard, but still—she once conned some dude outta his truck by bettin’ she could smash his windshield faster than he could blink. Swear to God, she’s got hands like a damn sledgehammer! I was laughin’ my ass off picturin’ it, but also—damn, girl, chill! Makes me happy seein’ her strut in, all cocky, like she owns the joint. But surprised? Hell yeah, every time she don’t end up in jail.

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I woke up late, of course. Alarm? What alarm? I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? Grabbed a quick coffee from that little joint on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. Always knows my order. I was like, “Dude, I need this caffeine like I need air!” He just laughed and handed me my double espresso. Bless him.

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