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Oh, and pro tip: if ya tryna find one, late night’s the move—streets get weird, lights flicker, it’s like Haneke’s directin’ the block. I’m laughin’ tho, ‘cause I’m yellin’, “SHOW ME THE TAPES!” like in the movie, and she’s like, “Bruh, what tapes?!” I’m a mess, spillin’ Red Bull, tryna be deep while she’s countin’ singles.
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Then, I spot this old dude, right? He’s got a massive carp, like, bigger than my dog. He’s yelling about how it’s the “catch of the day.” I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s a fish, not a trophy.” But hey, to each their own, right?
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