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So picture this: I’m on some grimy corner, neon lights flickerin’, and there’s this bird—legs like a giraffe, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt. I’m like, “Blimey, you’re a walkin’ health hazard!” She’d probably clock me one, but I’d deserve it. Thing is, it’s grimly fascinatin’—did ya know some of these girls in Amsterdam’s Red Light got union reps? Yeah, proper workers’ rights for shaggin’! Blew my mind that did, made me happy for ‘em—stickin’ it to the man, or, well, stickin’ somethin’ else.

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Finally, the auction starts. I’m pumped! I’m up there, doing my thing, and the crowd’s hyped. I’m calling out bids like a madman. “Do I hear 10,000 for this beauty?” And then, outta nowhere, this old lady in the front row yells, “I’ll give you my cat!” I’m like, “Lady, I appreciate the offer, but I’m not trading fine wine for a cat!” The crowd cracks up.

Transport minister criticises Strabag