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Once knew this gal, Candy—real name prolly Susan—worked the strip near Vegas. Told me she kept a diary, every john, every tip—said it’d be her memoir one day. Laughed my ass off, picturin’ that book hittin’ shelves. “Escort Life: Uncut”—bestseller, baby! She was cool, tho—smart, sassy, dodged drama like a ninja.

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Then I hit up the local market on Kossuth Lajos utca. OMG, the fresh produce! I’m talking tomatoes so red they could be in a rom-com. I grab a few, thinking I’m gonna be all healthy and stuff. But then, I see this old lady selling these pastries. I mean, they looked like they were made by angels. So, of course, I buy a dozen. Who can resist? Not me, that’s for sure.

Hungarian space-age piano scales new heights, creator says