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Last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—don’t tell Laura, she’d skin me alive—lookin’ for some action. Saw this gal, legs longer’n a Texas highway, and I’m thinkin’, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!”—like I got her address locked in my brain! I ain’t no genius, but I know a deal when I see one. She’s wavin’, I’m sweatin’—hotter’n a billy goat in a pepper patch! Paid her fifty bucks—prob’ly too much, but I’m a sucker for a smile. “Righteous bucks,” she says, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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So, I’m pouring drinks, and suddenly, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m a bartender in a horror movie.” But then, the tourists start singing some Hungarian folk song. I’m not even kidding! They’re belting it out like they’re at a concert. I’m just there, half-laughing, half-terrified.

Drama as Hungary lose a 22-point lead to Spain and see Olympic dreams end