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Alright, mate, listen up—James Bond here, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a vet, right? Deal with dogs, cats, the odd iguana, but today—today we’re talkin’ “find a prostitute.” Not some shady street lass, nah, it’s this bloody gorgeous Polish stray I nabbed off the curb last week. Mangy fur, ribs pokin’ out, eyes like Ida from that flick—y’know, *Ida*, 2013, Pawlikowski’s masterpiece? “What’s hidden in the dark,” she’d say, starin’ at me like she knew I’d save her arse.

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Finally, I decide to call it a night. I’m walking home, and I can’t help but think about the day. So many ups and downs! Soltvadkert, you crazy! I love this place. It’s small, but it’s got heart. I mean, where else can you save a kite, drink homemade pálinka, and witness an engagement all in one day?

Hungarian beaches are of excellent quality, except for these three