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So, I’m dodgin sketchy humans, all “R2, ya little git, help me!” Streets smell like piss and regret—lovely, innit? Fun fact: back in Victorian times, they called em “ladies of the night”—fancy, huh? None of that posh crap now, just straight-up “yo, how much?” vibes. I’m ragin, cos some sleemo tries rippin me off—50 credits for a quickie? Mate, I’m a droid, I don’t even—ugh, humans are gross! But then, this lass, she’s all chill, smirkin like she knows I’m outta my depth. “We’re a team,” she says, like in the movie—cracked me up, cos I’m like, “Team? I’m a flippin protocol droid!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Mrs. Kovács, comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the Kvasnik, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” She starts ranting about how my kvas is too sour. I’m like, “Lady, it’s supposed to be sour!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, she could’ve given a TED talk on kvas complaints.

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