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So, picture this – I’m sat there, sipping me tea, imagining some lass on the corner, all heels and lipstick, flogging her wares like I flog me auction lots. “Going once, going twice – sold to the geezer with the dodgy mustache!” Hilarious, right? But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Gets me proper vexed, it does – blokes treating ‘em like dirt. Makes me wanna scream, “In this family, we do not run!” Straight outta the movie, that. Respect, yeah? They’re hustling, surviving – fair play!

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Then, this guy comes in, looking all serious. He’s got a list, and he’s checking it twice like he’s Santa or something. He’s buying the weirdest stuff—cabbage, mustard, and a rubber chicken. I can’t help but ask, “What’s the rubber chicken for?” He just shrugs. “You know, for fun.” I’m like, “Okay, man, you do you.”

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