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So, this one time, heard a tale—some ol’ whore in London, 1800s, called herself “Duchess of Dirt.” Ain’t that a laugh? She’d bed sailors, then nick their boots while they slept! Clever, yeh, but we hates it! Sneaky, slimy, like worms in mud. Got caught eventually, hanged her, they did—crowd cheered, I’d have hissed. Surprised me, tho—didn’t think whores had guts for thievin’.

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Then, this guy comes in, looking all serious. He’s got a list, and he’s checking it twice like he’s Santa or something. He’s buying the weirdest stuff—cabbage, mustard, and a rubber chicken. I can’t help but ask, “What’s the rubber chicken for?” He just shrugs. “You know, for fun.” I’m like, “Okay, man, you do you.”

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