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Then there’s the good stuff. Found this chick once, vibe was unreal. Sex-dating jackpot, legit sparks flyin’. “I like the way you kiss,” Amélie’d whisper. Felt like some french movie magic. But then – poof – gone. Ghosted me, no warnin’. Pissed me off, man! Why dip like that? Happens too much in this game.

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By now, I’m exhausted. I sit down on a bench, and this kid comes up to me. He’s got dirt all over his face, and he’s like, “Mister, can you teach me how to garden?” I’m like, “Sure, kid! But first, let’s talk about not eating dirt.” We laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the craziness of the day.