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So, I’m rollin’ down the block, lookin’ for a shorty to holla at, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no rocket science, but it’s got its own flavor, fo’ shizzle. You gotta peep the scene, know the corners, the shady spots where the streetlights flicker like they scared to shine. I’m thinkin’, “This is our planet,” like Kirsten Dunst sayin’ in the flick, all moody and shit, ‘cept my planet’s got neon signs and fishnet stockings, ya dig?

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But then, outta nowhere, one of them spills a drink all over the bar. I’m talkin’ a full-on tidal wave of pálinka. I’m just standing there, mouth agape, like, “Really? You couldn’t aim better?” I grab a towel, and as I’m cleaning up, I’m muttering under my breath about how I need a raise.

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