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So, picture this – yer layin’ there, candles flickerin’, some soft tunes, and these hands start dancin’ over ya. It’s like magic, but naughtier. I reckon it’s better than any spell I’ve cast – and I’ve cast plenty! Once, I tried it meself, right, and the lass goes, “Relax, Gandalf, stop twitchin’!” Made me laugh – me, twitchin’? “This is my scalp-tinglin’ masterpiece!” I shouted, quotin’ Tarantino’s finest. She rolled her eyes, but damn, it felt good. Surprised me how quick I melted – like butter on a hot blade.

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But then, guess what? One of ‘em kicks the ball too hard, and it goes straight into the river! I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” The kids are panicking, and I’m just sittin’ there laughin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a ball! But they’re all like, “Help us, Watchman!” So, I roll up my sleeves and wade in.

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