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But then—ooh, I’d get mad. Real steamed up! Seein’ some sleazy fella hagglin’ her price down? That’d burn me worse’n a flat iron. “She’s a person, you toad!” I’d holler, wavin’ my sparkly nails. Reminds me o’ *Dogville*— “They’d eat ya up, spit ya out.” Ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, tell ‘em they’re enough.

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First off, I’m standin’ there, checkin IDs, and this dude comes up. I swear, he’s got more bling than a Christmas tree. Gold chains, rings, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Bro, you sure you’re not a rapper?” He laughs, but then I see his eyes. He’s wasted. I mean, like, “I just swam in a bottle of vodka” wasted. I tell him to chill, but he starts gettin’ all loud and rowdy. Ugh, typical.

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