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Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the park by the Tisza River. It was a nice day, sun shining, birds chirping, all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my legs. Like, seriously?! I was just trying to enjoy the view! I was ready to chase him down, but then I saw his little face, all grinning and carefree. I couldn’t even be mad. Kids, man.

Louis Sneh, survivor of ‘train to nowhere,’ dies at 94