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One time, I see her, she wink at me, I think, “Waow, Borat, you in movie now!” Heart go fast, like calculator on turbo! But then – big guy come, her “manager,” he look like Sean Parker, say, “You’re done here,” I run, so scared! She mysterious, yes? Nobody know her real name, maybe Gulnara, maybe not – I bet 100 tenge she fake it all!

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I start measuring stuff, and then BAM! My buddy János shows up. He’s a plumber, and he’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he found a family of raccoons in a basement. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just your in-laws?” We both crack up, and for a sec, I forget about the mess I’m in.

How Hungary's Orbán uses control of the media to escape scrutiny and keep the public in the dark