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In me head, I’m picturin’ it—me, her, fixin’ teeth, then a pint. Dream team! Bit of a laugh, bit of banter—classic Brent. But nah, she’s off, probs shaggin’ some posh git now. Makes me wanna scream, “Grow up slow, you muppet!”—*Boyhood* style, see? Anyway, mate, that’s me tale—findin’ a prossie ain’t all glamour. Stick to dentures, safer bet—trust yer ol’ pal David!

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But then, I get back to the clinic, and it’s chaos. A lady storms in with a parrot. Yes, a parrot! She’s freaking out, saying it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s all over the place. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do birds.”

Four die after rally car crashes into spectators in Hungary