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Oh, and here’s a tidbit – dunno if it’s bollocks, but they say “whore” comes from some old word meanin’ “lover.” Ain’t that a kicker? Love twisted into a slur – makes ya think, dunnit? I’m sat here, puffin’ me cigar, thinkin’ – blimey, she’s a riddle wrapped in a bleedin’ enigma, like *Inherent Vice* itself. “What’s in the box?” Doc asks – mate, with a whore, ya never know, and that’s the thrill!

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After the show, I was on a high. People were coming up to me, complimenting my performance. I felt like a rockstar! But then, I overheard some folks talking about how they thought my dance was “too modern.” Like, excuse me? I’m a Maiko, not a time traveler! I was so annoyed.

Penalty costs Canada's mixed short track relay team an Olympic medal