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They’re loud too, struttin’ round, all “look at me,” like they own the streets. Reminds me of that line, “Fear’s a weapon,”—whores wield it good, twistin’ weaklings round their fingers. Makes me wanna scream, precious! But—ha!—sometimes it’s funny, innit? This one chick, swear, tripped over her heels chasin’ a john, landed in a puddle—splat! Laughed me arse off, I did.

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While I’m waiting for the tree guy to come down, I spot a couple of kids playing soccer on the street. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.” But then, bam! One of them kicks the ball right into a parked car. Oof! The owner comes out, and he’s fuming. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Meet the Synod’s scooter-riding Byzantine archbishop who got the pope to wear a trucker hat