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Sometimes tho, gets me steamed – folks judgin’ it, actin’ all high n’ mighty. Like, chill, it’s just a rub, not a crime! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time – thought it’d be all awkward, but nah, smooth as WALL-E’s shiny dome. Pro tip: dim lights, music low, vibe’s gotta be right, or it’s a flop. “Directive?” I’d say, gigglin’ – directive’s to relax, ya dope!

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So, I finally make it to the beach, and it’s packed. Families everywhere, sunbathers, and a bunch of teenagers blasting music. I plop down on the sand, ready to soak it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument behind me. Turns out, it’s two guys fighting over a beach ball. Like, really? A beach ball? I’m just sitting there, shaking my head. “Get a grip, fellas!”

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